Getting back in the saddle

So you've been rejected.  Who cares?   Well, okay you do.  But that doesn't mean you have to wallow in your sadness.  We've talked about rejection being a state-of-mind,  but now what?  How do you talk yourself into getting back up on a horse that just bucked you off?

Remember, rejection is a state-of-mind.  The horse (submission process) is only a a big, daunting Clydesdale if you think it is.  What if you think of it as something closer to my little red rocking friend?  Now, get back on the horse, that's it.  And now what? Where do you go?  Do you ride south?  North? East?  Into the sunset?

It doesn't matter as long as you are back in the saddle - as long as you are willing to keep riding.  

How you deal with rejection is a lot like writing fantasy - no one can tell you that you're wrong!  For me, getting back on the horse takes a little persuasion.  I need something to get me motivated.

You want a mound of dark chocolate to nibble on while watching The Notebook?  Do it!  You want to run a half-marathon? Do it! (Just don't ask me to join you, I am allergic to running!) You want to buy yourself a new pair of fuzzy, purple stripped socks?  Do it!

Alright, I admit it, I have an embarrassing fascination with fuzzy socks and slippers.  The good news is that I use them as a sort of reward.  After getting my first (ultra-depressing, daunting, and down-right heart-wrenching) rejection letter, I made myself a deal (one of many): after I re-worked my manuscript and sent it out again I would buy myself a new pair of fuzzy socks.

Not much, I know, but it was something to work towards.  I REALLY, REALLY needed a new pair and I worked my butt off to make sure I deserved a new pair.  Now obviously I could have gone out and bought a new pair whenever I felt like it but that wasn't the point.  I knew it was going to be hard submitting my book, but I was ready to work for it - AND more importantly I was ready to reward myself for putting my book (and myself) out there.

So do whatever floats your boat, start small, start with socks if you want - just make sure you are rewarding yourself for all your hard work!  And make sure you are consistent. Recognize every little milestone.  Finally finished your first book?  Go take a walk in a park with your kids.  Just reworked your book for the third time?  Buy yourself a coffee.  Sent your 19th query letter?  Go to the movies with your hubby!

It really doesn't matter what you do, it doesn't even have to cost anything - it's just important to acknowledge all your hard work, treat yourself every now and then, and keep on riding (with or without new fuzzy socks)