Don't short change yourself

A friend of mine, one who has wanted to write a book for awhile, recently caught the "writing bug" (despite the negative connotation of "writing bug", deep down inside my creative self is somewhere between jumping for joy and writhing her hands while letting out a deceitful little "Mwwhahaha" - another literary victim!! Um....I mean welcome to the club ;)



While my friend and I were talking she brought up something and I couldn't help but think "this is perfect for a blog".  It's something that really bothered me, mostly because I have done it.  She, without really knowing it, short changed herself, her talent, and her self confidence.  (My inner creative self is glaring and pointing a very stern, warning finger at my friend - tsk.tsk.tsk.)

My friend was explaining how she had started planning her book yesterday and how she had spent a good amount of time doing this while her sweet husband took their kids out for a few hours.  When her husband got home the simple question was asked, "So what'd you do all day?"

I am sure you can guess how this conversation went.  Now, this is what my friend told me, in so many words, however, as a writer, I can't help but...embellish - again, because I've been there.

Husband: Exhausted from hauling three kids around all day, he looks expectantly at his wife, "So, what'd you do all day?"

Friend: "Um..." Silence overwhelms her as she debates the lie pushing toward her tongue.  "I wrote."  Her face flushes with guilt.

Husband: Silence.  He's awestruck, dumbfounded, and slightly confused.  "That's it?"  He looked around the house, duly noting the list of things she could have done; the vacuuming, dishes, laundry, etc.

For those of you that don't know me, take this is to consideration - this would have been my answer.

"Yes!  It was great, I finished three chapters.  My antagonist thrashed through the pages, bringing the ending together.  Oh you won't believe the twists I came up, no one is going to see the protagonists' mother as the evil alien enchantress. Thank you so much for taking the kids, it really helped having the house quiet.  You know, I think I might set up regular "writing times" like this in effort to really focus on my creativity."

Now I would have said this for 2 reasons.  A) Honesty.  It IS amazing when you can bust out chapters, use it to your advantage.  Writing isn't a guilty pleasure - it's a creative pleasure - let it be your escape.  And be PROUD of your writing.  Tell your spouse about your writings/books/poems, include them in your dreams - no one likes to be left out!  B) Payback.  How many times has your husband sat on the couch in a zombie-like fashion watching some sporting event only to re-hash every touchdown, interception, rebound with the same fervor?  My husband.....all.  the.  time.  So I keep him updated on my characters and their relationships/ who's killed who/ new ideas all the time....it's actually entertaining to watch someone's eyes gloss over.  (It's also the perfect time to mention things like shopping trips and dented car doors!)

Bottom line: My dear friend(s), don't feel guilty for doing what you love.  Love what you do and someday everyone else will too!