Being critiqued....the after thoughts

The red pen of death.

My third grade teacher had one.  She would walk in between our desks flipping it around her fingers waiting to whip it out and mark our pages with a deadly, red ink that could kill any young kids' literary dreams.  (ok, so it wasn't THAT dramatic - but that's what being critiqued/edited feels like to me.)

This weekend Erika and I went to a critiquing event.  I waited until the last possible moment to sign up; it was a selfish attempt to save myself pain, suffering, and a lot of unnecessary chocolate bon bons.   For once it paid off to be a complete slacker!

This is actual excerpts from our texting conversation ;)
Toni: Do we HAVE to go tomorrow?
Erika: Yes, you whimp put on ur big girl pants
Toni: I don't have any
Erika: It will be fine, my critiquer is "Jane Austen"
Toni: What?  How do u know that?
Erika: Ck ur email.  Geez.
Toni: um....

Toni: OMG! OMG! "Jane Austen" is mine too!
Erika:  Oh good, I'll bring my red pen for sure....

Well that's how I remember it anyway.  The great thing about blogging is that Erika isn't here to say otherwise.

Alright so I'm lying my big girl pants off.  But seriously, just knowing that Erika was in my group saved me from withdrawing all my kids' college fund money to support my new bon bon habit.

So now that you understand how stupidly nervous I get (and if you don't get that, then just stop reading...there's no hope for you) I feel like I can FINALLY get to the after thoughts.  Every time I send my manuscripts out, whether to an agent, editor, or even a friend, I feel like that red pen of death is coming for me.  I feel like everyone is going to hate what I wrote and tell me to give up on my dreams.  And that's the problem.  I feel that.  Not once has anyone ever said - "this sucks - don't quit your day job."  No one has ever hacked up my novel with a red a pen.

I'm the mean third grade teacher by doubting myself.

This event was no different; there wasn't a single red pen.  Yes, I wanted everyone to say how perfect it was and ask why it wasn't already published, but they didn't.  They offered their sincere advice.  The most important thing about critiques is to go in open minded and to listen to what they are saying.  You can't get defensive and you have to know what advice to take and what advice to leave behind.  It is your novel, your characters; you live with them every day.

I sincerely appreciate the group I was in and all of their comments.  And more than that I appreciate the fact that they were all just as nervous as I was and have made me re-think why I get so nervous about events.

Maybe, just maybe, the next time I go to an event....I will only buy 1 box of bon bons!

I said maybe.

Motivation Monday

You know those moments when someone says something so profound you wonder why you didn't think of it yourself?  Or when someone notices something you never did?  Yah, it was one of those moments.

I was talking to a friend and mentioned that I needed to get my blog done.  She asked what I was going to blog about (what? There are other bloggers out there who don't know what to blog about???? Never!) I told her that Motivation Monday is actually fairly easy.  I take an inspirational quote and apply it to writing.  (It's a patented formula so don't try and steal it)

And that's when it happened.  That "doh" moment.

She said, "Oh, yah, inspirational, like that magnet you have on your fridge.  I like that one."

Um.  Yah.  Totally, like that one.  I totally had that planned ALL ALONG.

How perfect is that??????

This magnet is one of those things I purposely put on my fridge to remind me that life is everything.  The things we do day in and day out are our stories.  The friends we make, the jobs we have, the loves we have, the books we write.

If you think about it for a second, who wants to read a book about a "stuck-in-a-rut" accountant truck driver who refuses to do something about their life?  The books we read inspire us to get up and do something, to be someone.  They remind us that anything is possible if we just try.  More importantly they give us hope.

You can live your life, writing a story no one will ever read, or you can get outside of your comfort zone, do something daring, and write the stories that inspire others.

It's your choice.  For me, 2013 is already on track to be the year I write the stories people want to read.

Motivation Monday

"Make voyages! Attempt them! There's nothing else."
- Tennessee Williams



This is what I feel like every time I go to a writer's event.  Actually, I feel more like someone just pushed me off the rock (ahem....Erika), and not that I jumped on my own. This weekend Erika and I went to a critique event, and I can tell you now, it was great.  (Check out Thursday's post for details)

The quote for this week is especially important to writer's.  We seem to be a reclusive bunch of people.  The more author bios I read the more normal I feel, because they all seem to say the same thing: that authors are mainly introverted. They all struggled with putting themselves out there.

I will be the first to defend the introverted personalities of the world - and I will be the first to admit that, as an introvert, I need to challenge myself.  I need to push myself off cliffs (hypothetically speaking, of course).  I need to make my own voyages and attempt them.  We all do.  If we don't, we stay stagnant.  We never grow, never learn, never prosper - and never learn to believe in ourselves or our talents.

So find a cliff....

and jump.

(not literally - just literary-ly)

How long DO you follow your dream?

Imagine yourself in my shoes.  It's Saturday morning, the kids are either asleep or already out the door.  The house is quiet and the computer isn't being used.  (Rare, very rare) So I drag myself over to the computer, not really knowing why, but heck there's an empty chair in front of it, why not?
I hop onto my blogger account ready for some blog-stalking. (It's a habit I have no intention of breaking), anyway...I start with my close friends and read up on all the super fun Holiday stuff they've done and smile.  Then I move onto a newly published author that I've been following for about a year.  I read all about her glorious year of getting two books deals and writing sequels and my smile starts to give way to a jealously-fueled scowl.  Then I move onto a literary agent that has rejected me twice (Geez, twice! I know!  And I am stupid enough still follow her blog!) and low and behold I find a link to, honestly, The Best Advice I have ever read!!!  It was written by Jane Friedman for Writer's Digest, originally in 2011, and recently updated.

This was me reading it.
 
Article: Don’t you wish someone could tell you how close you are to getting traditionally published?
Me: "Yes! Yes! For the love all things literary!  YES!"

Article: Don’t you wish someone could say, “If you just keep at it for three more years, you’re certain to make it!”
Me: "Oh my Harry Potter, there's someone out there that can do that?"

Article: Or, even if it would be heartbreaking, wouldn’t it be nice to be told that you’re wasting your time, so that you can move on, try another tack (like self-publishing), or perhaps even change course entirely to produce some other creative work?
Me: "Seriously?  Someone finally understands me! Yes, please, just tell me!!!"

I was hooked. 

So I kept reading.  I was laughing and crying, shaking my head, agreeing with every word.  "Yes!  Yes!  I know what you're talking about!" Many first manuscript attempts are not publishable, even after revision, yet they are necessary and vital for a writer’s growth. A writer who’s just finished her first manuscript probably doesn’t realize this, and will likely take the rejection process very hard. Some writers can’t move past this rejection. You’ve probably heard experts advise that you should always start working on the next manuscript, rather than waiting to publish the first. That’s because you need to move on, and not get stuck on publishing your first attempt.
There is honestly so much great advice in this article that I will recommend it for anyone interested in being an author.  (anyone brave enough to read our blog ) 

And while the age old question of "How long DO you follow your dreams" wasn't technically answered, in a way it was.  The answer is inside each of us.  It is up to us to know and even more so, believe in our work enough to keep after our dreams. 

So dream on. 

Someday will come soon enough :) 

Motivational Monday

"First keep the peace within yourself, then you can also bring peace to other."
- Thomas Kempis

Speaking from experience here.  I've mentioned my anxiety issues before, but more in a joking manner.  So I am putting on my serious hat this morning; I'll be back in a second.

Ahem.  I'm ready now.

This quote defines the writing process for me.  If I can control my anxiety, by thinking of my mischievous characters, and not my children, then I can one day, hopefully, bring peace and joy to others who will read my books.  Anxiety is something that can control you, it can destroy you mentally, and it can push you off the edge of depression.  Anxiety and depression can cause that once peaceful and happy mother, friend, sister, to become someone else - someone who doesn't want to do anything, let alone write.

Lucky for me I've found a way to "control" my anxiety.  Instead of imagining horrible things happening to my kids, I imagine my characters and their stories.  Writing has helped to bring that inner peace I'd longed for.  It's the main reason I refuse to give up on my dream.  If I give up (which I'm not a big fan of quitting) then I know I'd go back to worrying about things that will never happen.

Any of us can find inner peace, whether its through writing, reading, painting; the most important part of this quote is to share your peace with others.  Let others read your works, hear you sing, see your masterpiece, feel the warmth of your hugs, taste the love you put into your cooking.

You never know when someone you share your gifts with truly needs it.  And you never know when you will need it return - so give generously.

Motivation Monday

"I'm treating you as a friend, asking you to share my present minuses in the hope that I can ask you to share my future pluses."

- Katherine Mansfield

Ha!  You thought you'd caught me for getting about my New Year's Resolution!  (Too bad I wrote this ahead of time in order to not forget! and No! that's not cheating - it's being proactive!) 

And that's why this quote is perfect.  I am asking you as a friend to forgive the fact that I am not perfect, that I might forget a post here and there, and spell things wrong all the time.  I am asking you all this in hopes that when "someday" does come we can enjoy it together. 

One of my favorite things about Erika is the fact that she takes me for who I am, fuzzy sock fetish and all, and never lets me forget that "someday" will come.  She's my writing rock, always there to guide me back into the turbulent waters of the publishing world.  

We all need that, someone to help guide us, through thick and thin.  I guess the reason I picked this quote for today is to remind everyone that whether it is writing, or baking, or cosmopoliting (is that a word?) we surround ourselves with friends and the most important thing about friends is....

Never forgetting to say thank you.  

So thank you Erika - I promise to share all my literary pluses with you (minus any fees for smelly candles and fuzzy socks)

Toni

On the Literary Resolution

Happy New Year!!  **Confetti toss**



With every year one must grow and prosper, try new things, and more importantly, learn from their mistakes.  The same rules apply to blogs.  (Honest, it's a law...look it up, it's on the internet, so it's true)

So besides the obvious (to get published!) my New Year's Resolution for our sweet, wonderful, little blog is................

Two fold...

1 fold) To write posts that help insight or inspire fellow pre-published authors and/or anyone willing to read them

2 fold) To use Motivation Monday posts to better evaluate quotes and how they apply to writing.

Confused????

Good, then maybe you'll read the Motivation Monday posts!!

Happy 2013 everyone!  Here's to all our literary dreams coming true!!